Before I got married, I would go to friends’ weddings and during the reception, someone would inevitable ask one of them, “So, do you feel any different?”
And most of the time, because most of my friends moved in together well before getting married, they’d shrug and say, “Not really.”
I always thought that was a little disappointing. Like, you’re *married.* It should feel more significant, shouldn’t it? Your wedding day should feel like a turning point, a…portal from complete independence to having a partner for life.
And then I got married — over a year after my husband moved in with me, and we combined bank accounts, and started listing the other as our emergency contact — and after the wedding was over, I was like, “Okay, back to normal. No more wedding planning YAY!”
The wedding wasn’t a single, major turning point.
But I’ve learned, over the past year and four months, that it’s a subtle process of learning how to lean on each other. How to support each other and let yourself be supported. And, without getting too sappy, it’s been a weird, confusing, hilarious, wonderful journey — and we’re just a little over a year in.
I pride myself on being fiercely independent, but I don’t think I would have left my job last year without my husband cheering for me and insisting I could do it.
We wouldn’t have gotten Onyx if he hadn’t convinced me we could handle it.
I wouldn’t be in San Diego if he hadn’t decided to move here first.
There are literally thousands of times I wouldn’t have laughed if he hadn’t been there talking in weird voices or telling me about ice cream bread or imitating Sheldon Cooper.
I wouldn’t be dipping my toes into homebrewing or rock climbing or camping.
I sure as hell wouldn’t have become a country music fan.
My cooking skills would probably still be limited to boiling pasta and tossing it in sauce from a jar.
I wouldn’t have acquired any taste whatsoever for black coffee (still not my favorite drink, but I like trying freshly brewed coffee from decent quality beans).
It’s unlikely I ever would have watched any Batman movies.
From the mundane to the really freaking huge stuff, I can’t imagine a better partner, best friend, confidant, or cheerleader to face it with.
Love you, babe (even though he won’t read this).
wedding photos by the super-awesome Jaime of Aptera Studios