The Stupid Things We Obsess Over

"nobody notices and nobody cares"

We had a photobooth at my wedding (shush, you in the back who was about to say that photobooths are “overdone” and “trendy” and “cliche.” Photobooths are awesome). Husband and I managed to sneak in there for one set of pictures at some point during the night and those four shots are some of my favorites from the whole day. We just look so happy! (and slightly delirious).

So I made one of them my desktop background.

Then, I got upgraded to a bigger monitor at work.

And I realized that one of my front teeth is a slightly different shade from the rest of my teeth. And my gumline is a teeny tiny bit higher on that tooth.

What. The. Hell.

Suddenly, I was scanning every picture of me to see if this “problem” with my teeth was obvious. I look like a complete dork when I smile with my mouth closed, so that’s not an option to hide this. I tried Crest Whitestrips and considered asking my dentist if this was normal and what I should do about it.

Seriously?

And then if I don’t stop myself, I start noticing other little quirks. The callous on my finger (from writing by hand) makes my nail look funny. My very-not-pretty runner’s feet and gnarly toenails. The spot where I overplucked my eyebrows when I was 14 and it never quite grew back the same.

I know I’m not alone here. It’s one of those (annoying) things girls do — like when a group of girls asks some poor stranger to take their picture and need to take, like 500 hundred before they get one that they’re all happy with? It’s because each girl has a little checklist for an “acceptable” photo of her — Is my hair parted right? Eyes opened wide so my weird squint doesn’t show? Nothing caught in my teeth? Not straining my neck? etc. etc. etc.

And I know it’s pointless to even worry about these things, because (as my fifth-grade teacher used to say) “Nobody notices and nobody cares.” It took 5 minutes of me showing my husband the picture and insisting that my teeth were “messed up” before he agreed with me (and he was probably just humoring me so I’d shut up about it). I pride myself on not being super vain or obsessing over my appearance, really I do, so if I could just stop noticing this little quick, believe me, I would. But…ugh.

Make me feel better about myself: What stupid non-flaws bug you, but no one else seems to notice them?

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